HEY! It’s CONSTRUCTIVE WITTICISM’s vewwy first birfday! AWWW. I’m so glad you could mosey on over here and celebrate with us on our first official day of life! Right now I’m trying to decide if I like the format better of WordPress or Blogger so please comment and tell me which blog name, template, and service you like the best. I think I am already leaning in one direction. I don’t want to give it away, but I will give you a hint: it starts with a “W” and ends in “ordpress”. But my mind can be changed, so do not despair if you have a major crush on blogger and can’t bear to be seen frequenting the arms of another.
*The iPad Debacle*
I think the clip from Valkyrie poking fun at the iPad is just BRILL. I mean really Steve Jobs. What was he THINKING? I’ll tell you what he was thinking. He was thinking, “Oh, I’m Steve Jobs, and I can do whatever I want. All I have to do is slap an Apple logo sticker on the back of this bad boy and it will sell like a Snuggie. I don’t want to let those little monsters over at HP or any other little meager elf companies that try to compete with me to come out with the next ‘flat screened i handle slate tablet table pad pod hand face book box’ before I do. Speaking of Facebook, I should tell all my peeps… uh my tweeps… uh my fool… uh followers that I am on stage and God is caressing my salt and pepper hair as he sends Moses down on a fiery rainbow to deliver my revolutionary new product. Oh yea, I’m on stage. I had better wrap it up. Darn I wish my butt fit in designer jeans so I could get rid of these Dungaroos. I wonder if my black turtlesmock is still in. Turtlesmock… that’s a wame I just came up with because I am awesome. Wame is a combo of word and name. I made that up too. Hmmm… who am I kidding? OF COURSE IT’S IN. I’M STEVE JOBS!” That is what he is thinking.
If you follow me on Twitter you probably know most of my feelings regarding the iTampon, as so many people are calling it. But I will recap in case you live under a rock, in the stone ages, in Sri Lanka, or don’t use Twitter because you think it’s dumb. (It’s really not dumb, but I will write a whole post on that another day). So I started off calling the Apple tablet the iMoses (which I thought was hILARIOUS but for some reason did not catch on like wildfire as I had hoped… go figure). Then it was announced that the name would be the iPad, which I thought was some kind of epic episode of Punk’d and Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out behind Steve Jobs and give him a chest bump or something. But it turns out, no. No, it is not a joke. An evil genius and his entire marketing department and band of merry men all thought that giving this product the same name as a feminine hygiene product was definitely a good idea. Major iFail if you ask me. I won’t even get into all the ways I/ the universe was let down by the actual product capabilities. I think he just was afraid he was going to die soon and even though his tablets weren’t finished he had to get them out before he croaked or was beaten to the punch by HP or whoever else (Lady Gaga). So he decided to turn in a shoddy piece of work and try to sashay his black turtleneck wearing, 1995 acid wash denim clad self around the stage in a manner that would distract us from the fact that $800 pretty much only gets you a large iPhone that you can’t even use to make calls. (Oh yea, & CURSE AT&T!) So in conclusion, Steve Jobs is super smart/rich but he wears ugly jeans and lets marketing “professionals” convince him to wrap his toy in shiny aluminum foil and pretend it’s silver derived directly from the Dalai Lama’s dental fillings.
If you want to see the video of Steve Jobs revealing the iPad look under the Videos link
The End. Please Comment! (do it for the little baby seals).
Happy Birthday to ME!
HEY! It’s CONSTRUCTIVE WITTICISM’s vewwy first birfday! AWWW. I’m so glad you could mosey on over here and celebrate with us on our first official day of life! Right now I’m trying to decide if I like the format better of WordPress or Blogger so please comment and tell me which blog name, template, and service you like the best. I think I am already leaning in one direction. I don’t want to give it away, but I will give you a hint: it starts with a “W” and ends in “ordpress”. But my mind can be changed, so do not despair if you have a major crush on blogger and can’t bear to be seen frequenting the arms of another.
*The iPad Debacle*
I think the clip from Valkyrie poking fun at the iPad is just BRILL. I mean really Steve Jobs. What was he THINKING? I’ll tell you what he was thinking. He was thinking, “Oh, I’m Steve Jobs, and I can do whatever I want. All I have to do is slap an Apple logo sticker on the back of this bad boy and it will sell like a Snuggie. I don’t want to let those little monsters over at HP or any other little meager elf companies that try to compete with me to come out with the next ‘flat screened i handle slate tablet table pad pod hand face book box’ before I do. Speaking of Facebook, I should tell all my peeps… uh my tweeps… uh my fool… uh followers that I am on stage and God is caressing my salt and pepper hair as he sends Moses down on a fiery rainbow to deliver my revolutionary new product. Oh yea, I’m on stage. I had better wrap it up. Darn I wish my butt fit in designer jeans so I could get rid of these Dungaroos. I wonder if my black turtlesmock is still in. Turtlesmock… that’s a wame I just came up with because I am awesome. Wame is a combo of word and name. I made that up too. Hmmm… who am I kidding? OF COURSE IT’S IN. I’M STEVE JOBS!” That is what he is thinking.
If you follow me on Twitter you probably know most of my feelings regarding the iTampon, as so many people are calling it. But I will recap in case you live under a rock, in the stone ages, in Sri Lanka, or don’t use Twitter because you think it’s dumb. (It’s really not dumb, but I will write a whole post on that another day). So I started off calling the Apple tablet the iMoses (which I thought was hILARIOUS but for some reason did not catch on like wildfire as I had hoped… go figure). Then it was announced that the name would be the iPad, which I thought was some kind of epic episode of Punk’d and Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out behind Steve Jobs and give him a chest bump or something. But it turns out, no. No, it is not a joke. An evil genius and his entire marketing department and band of merry men all thought that giving this product the same name as a feminine hygiene product was definitely a good idea. Major iFail if you ask me. I won’t even get into all the ways I/ the universe was let down by the actual product capabilities. I think he just was afraid he was going to die soon and even though his tablets weren’t finished he had to get them out before he croaked or was beaten to the punch by HP or whoever else (Lady Gaga). So he decided to turn in a shoddy piece of work and try to sashay his black turtleneck wearing, 1995 acid wash denim clad self around the stage in a manner that would distract us from the fact that $800 pretty much only gets you a large iPhone that you can’t even use to make calls. (Oh yea, & CURSE AT&T!) So in conclusion, Steve Jobs is super smart/rich but he wears ugly jeans and lets marketing “professionals” convince him to wrap his toy in shiny aluminum foil and pretend it’s silver derived directly from the Dalai Lama’s dental fillings.
If you want to see the video of Steve Jobs revealing the iPad look under the Videos link
The End. Please Comment! (do it for the little baby seals).
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